We Are One Month Old!!!!!

One month ago today, at this very time, I was laying in the operating room with Bryan by my side, waiting for our little miracles to be born.
I can still remember the terror like it was yesterday but yet it feels like a dream. I remember the frightening moment at St. Joes when the labor started again and Dr. Berg came into check me and told me I had to be shipped out. She had asked me if I had a preference and as the tears rolled down my cheek I blurted out the first hospital that came in my head, not knowing anything about either hospital’s NICU and hoping I had made the right choice. I also remember how the meds they gave me to slow the labor made me feel awful and how it felt like forever for the helicopter to arrive. I still get that anxious feeling when I think about arriving at Sacred Heart and knowing that none of my family had arrived yet and I can still hear the helicopter pilot’s voice when he called to tell Bryan that I had arrived safe and sound. I also remember the call I made to Bryan telling him my water had broke but not to panic when deep inside I was the one who was panicking.
Just when I thought I might make it a few more days with our little guys inside me so I could get the extra doses of steroids to help their lungs develop my body decided there was no time to wait and I began to dilate. Dr. Olson came back in the room to check me and it was then that he made the call to get the surgery suite ready and to call in the crew and the neonatologist. Again it felt like a lifetime waiting on the surgery crew as the fear of what was to come continued to build.
I waited in the cold surgery suite while the anesthesiologist gave me the block and they walked Bryan up to the head of my bed. They placed the drape in front of my face and I could hear the doctors and nurses talking as they worked to get Braylon and Kaden out into the world. I could see the nurses scurry from me to the little warmer and another group of nurses scurry from me to the other warmer across the room. They motioned for Bryan to come over and both groups stood around the warmers as I struggled to sneak a peak of the boys, but could only see either a doctor or nurses back. As they wheeled the babies by, one of the nurses noticed me watching and asked her group to stop and said, “Mom just wants a peak.” It was then that I saw one of the babies’ legs sticking straight out. Bryan left with the babies while the doctor and surgery crew sewed me up.
Again it felt like a lifetime as they worked to close my belly and another lifetime as I waited in recovery for the feeling to come back to my legs, asking over and over, “Can I see my babies yet?,” “How much longer until I can see my babies?”, “Can I have something to drink now?” While waiting Bryan brought the camera down from the NICU with pictures of the babies so I could see that they were okay and gave me a little report. From there they wheeled me to my room on post-partum where I had to wait again and finally around 3am Bryan got to wheel me up to see my babies. I remember looking at them with amazement and thinking, I can’t believe you were inside of me and I can’t believe how perfect you are. I instantly fell in love and felt the strongest bond I think I could ever feel.
Today, one month later, the boys have grown so much and yet they are still so small. Braylon is now 4lbs 10oz and Kaden is 3lbs 11oz. Both boys are doing great and continue to make progress and each day is one day closer to going home.
They went from ventilators to c-pap, cannulas, a crib, a bottle, both wearing clothes, and developing their own personalities. Braylon has been getting the hang of taking his feedings from a bottle or breast and by his 9pm care time took 4 feedings by bottle. Kaden has been gaining more and more time on his cannula and will hopefully get rid of the c-pap for good in the next couple of days. He tolerated his cannula for over 7 hours today with little trouble. Both boys had their first eye exams yesterday and both had good reports. Although again it feels like a lifetime, the time spent in the NICU, we have one month already down and hopefully only one more to go.